The Iceberg Model

What’s Beneath the Surface?

When we experience stress, conflict, or emotional discomfort, our behaviour is often the only thing others can see.

But like an iceberg, what’s visible on the surface is just a fraction of what’s going on.

🧊 The Iceberg Model

This model helps us explore the deeper layers that influence our behaviour:

• Behaviours – What we say and do (visible)

• Thoughts – Beliefs and interpretations we carry

• Feelings – Emotional experiences we may or may not express

• Attitudes – Underlying mindsets shaped by our upbringing and culture

• Values – What we care about most

• Assumptions – The “rules” we believe about how the world works

• Identity – How we see ourselves and what we fear being seen as

All of these influence what we do, often without us realising it.

🖼️ Visual Example:

If possible, insert an iceberg image here showing labels like:

• Tip: Behaviour

• Below waterline: Thoughts, Feelings, Attitudes, Values, etc.

You can upload one or ask me to generate a clean printable version if needed.

🔍 Why It Matters

When we’re triggered or overwhelmed, it’s usually not the situation itself that causes our reaction — it’s what’s happening below the surface.

By learning to identify what’s beneath your behaviour, you build self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and resilience.

🧠 Try This:

Think of a recent moment when you said or did something you later regretted.

Ask yourself:

• What was I feeling at the time?

• What thoughts were running through my mind?

• What value might have felt threatened?

• What deeper fear or assumption was influencing me?

🧾 Activity

Use a journal or worksheet to fill in your own “iceberg” for a past situation:

• Tip: What I said or did

• Middle: What I was feeling/thinking

• Base: What mattered to me / what I assumed

This is a powerful tool for seeing yourself clearly and shifting your responses in the future.